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“You can only become accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you.” Maya Angelou“
After realizing what Hills Like White Elephants (Ernest Hemingway) meant it left me feeling emotional. Being as though I'm a parent already, I totally understand the frustration when you are left to make a life changing decision and not know what the ending result will be.
It wasn’t until the night of April 6, 2014. I put my phone down and take my daughter Gabbi upstairs for bed. It was a little after 9pm. My phone rang as I’m walking up the steps. I can still see who it is while walking up the steps. I continue walking upstairs and say, “I’ll call her back.” My phone had to ring about four more times while I was upstairs. On my way back down the steps the phone is ringing again and it’s my cousin. I answer the phone and she said, (in a slow voice is what it seemed like at the time) “Block said, called Derrick he’s been shot!” I screamed, “IF HE WAS SHOT HE’S NOT GOING TO ANSWER! I JUST HUNG UP WITH HIM SIX MINUTES AGO!” I still called and he didn’t answer. I began to shake but I’m also pacing the floor back and forth not knowing what to do now so I just grab my keys and run out the door. As I drive pass my mom house who is at the top of my block and realize I left my babies in the house. I reverse a few houses back run to the door and yell through the screen, “MOM, GO TO MY HOUSE DERRICK WAS SHOT!” While, her and my grandma are sitting on the couch catching the spring night air. I get back in my car and my phone is ringing. I answer and I hear, “B where you at? We in the ER, my dad was shot!” in a helpless voice. As I walk in the emergency people walk over to me crying so I at that moment start crying and thinking the worse. A few hours had gone by and the hospital staff and security told us that only his children, parents and the person he lived with could go upstairs and wait for him to get out of surgery. After three hours which seemed like forever had pass and the doctors came out and said, “I’m sorry we did all we could do, and you and your family are welcome to come see him.” Walking in all we could see was his body covered by a white sheet and his head and arms were the only visible body parts for us to see. They put his arms over top of the sheet so that we could touch or hold his hands if we wanted to. I asked, “where was he shot?” While walking toward him. In the trunk someone replied. I began to cry and just stare at his lifeless body. How many times?” his daughter asks. “Once in the trunk.” His oldest son and daughter were being consoled by staff as well as his mother and I. As I get closer only thing I could say was, “Gabbi!” in a sobbing voice. The female that was there to console me said, “Who is Gabbi?” “She’s our 1yr old daughter. He hasn’t seen the kids in a few days. I began to cry harder and say, I should have just taken them to the shop to see him before going home.” Almost 5 years later I still feel guilty for being too exhausted to take them to go see daddy for the last time. This is still hard for me to share. 2014 was a hard year for me. Two months after my fiance passed so did my grandma.
1 Comment
2/11/2019 09:06:47 pm
Hey Biancia,
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March 2019
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